Ed, yes, you totally missed the point about *all* of these interactions carrying with them an aspect of intimidation. Violent/physical, not necessarily sexual, due to the (offensive and inappropriate) attitude of 'I get to tell you what to do, and am entitled to be angry, and further, punish you, if you do not comply.'
It's surprisingly difficult to find a good definition of the concept of Personal Sovereignty, which is where I'm coming from (This wikipedia page is reasonable-ish http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-ownership )
The essence of this is that it is an individual's right to choose what they do with their own body, not what any other person does with theirs. So a *request* that you or I smile/dance/display my underwear/provide any other 'service' to someone else is okay, but a *demand*, with implied consequences if I do not comply is not, and violates my personal sovereignty (a concept which, while tricky to find a good definition for, is still happily enshrined in law in a variety of ways, protecting our rights to go about our lives choosing what to do with our own bodies on a daily basis).
And in this world, a depressingly large number of men believe that their 'feelings' override a woman's right to personal sovereignty. I don't expect you to have experienced this first hand, nor to have noticed it, as you are not living in a female body - this is what Kitty means by a position of privilege. You have the privilege of being able to claim that this doesn't exist/ isn't so bad, because it doesn't actually apply to you, and you do not have to calculate this particular type of threat into your every day life.
You're free to frown as much as you like. You don't get to tell me not to. As a wise chap once said, your freedom to swing your fist ends where it reaches my face. Transmit all the vibes you like, but you don't get to demand that other people do the same.
Re: devil's advocate waffle
It's surprisingly difficult to find a good definition of the concept of Personal Sovereignty, which is where I'm coming from (This wikipedia page is reasonable-ish http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-ownership )
The essence of this is that it is an individual's right to choose what they do with their own body, not what any other person does with theirs. So a *request* that you or I smile/dance/display my underwear/provide any other 'service' to someone else is okay, but a *demand*, with implied consequences if I do not comply is not, and violates my personal sovereignty (a concept which, while tricky to find a good definition for, is still happily enshrined in law in a variety of ways, protecting our rights to go about our lives choosing what to do with our own bodies on a daily basis).
And in this world, a depressingly large number of men believe that their 'feelings' override a woman's right to personal sovereignty. I don't expect you to have experienced this first hand, nor to have noticed it, as you are not living in a female body - this is what Kitty means by a position of privilege. You have the privilege of being able to claim that this doesn't exist/ isn't so bad, because it doesn't actually apply to you, and you do not have to calculate this particular type of threat into your every day life.
You're free to frown as much as you like. You don't get to tell me not to. As a wise chap once said, your freedom to swing your fist ends where it reaches my face. Transmit all the vibes you like, but you don't get to demand that other people do the same.