For me, I sometimes make a conscious decision to give where it "hurts" me to give (which I think is in some part about the distinctions between pain, damage, and destruction). So I'll give where it causes pain, and very occasionally where it causes damage, but not when it is actively destructive to me. Because I am resilient and have a large resource pool, I tend to be about greatest good for the greatest number. But I'm not saying anyone else should draw the same lines I do; I'm very aware of my privilege (I hope).