Once or twice, I know I have hugged someone and only realized too late that touching was not welcome. As often, nonverbal consent after the fact was given - but still it was bad form on my part. The nonverbal arms out, eyebrows up gesture of 'want a hug?' is enough for the unmoving or slight withdraw of 'no thanks' or a hug as a 'yes please' is all that's needed. Consideration of what another person can do, is open to, or is not in the mood for or cannot tolerate. For those of us adept at reading body language and not averse to, you know, using our words, this isn't complex.

It is incredibly sweet to me to have someone tell me to please say so if anything happening should stop, at any point. That I have full autonomy of my body no matter what we are doing. That he cares what I think and feel. I can't think of a more caring and cherished way to share touch. I like that so much that it's the feeling I want everyone around me to share. Not only is it okay to ask for consideration, it is okay to demand it when violated. It is okay to say I forgive you, it is okay to say no, but lets do this instead. We're humans, we are inventive and clever and we can be incredibly kind when incentive is there. And we screw up. But we can learn!