I think you have a good working definition of 'consent' there. I don't think I can really improve on it, but I do have comments on some of the situations.
Fetish club: I've certainly been at events where I saw scenes that seriously disturbed me on an emotional level. I actually had to ask my Goddess to move us to a different spot in the dungeon because I was having entirely too many of my own emotional triggers activated by the nearby scene. (We moved to a different spot and had a great time.) Did they ask us before they started a very verbally abusive waterboarding scene? No, of course not, and I wouldn't expect them to do so! We signed an agreement coming into the event that we might see such things, they were apparently cleared with the DM, and they were well within the rules of the event.
"... being referred to by an incorrect term ... equivalent to physical violence." WTF? Seriously? It *might* be an insult if done deliberately. It might even be emotionally abusive if done repeatedly or in a certain manner, but to compare an accidental slip of the tongue to a physical assault is quite a stretch and one I'm simply not buying. I can only assume the person making this claim has never been the victim of assault nor been close to someone assaulted. Trust me a broken leg looks quite a bit different from a hurled invective, even a purposeful one. Of course on the question of consent, I don't see how that actually figures into the picture. As described it seems a bit of a null situation to me, but I may be simply missing part of the picture.
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Date: 2010-07-15 02:57 am (UTC)Fetish club: I've certainly been at events where I saw scenes that seriously disturbed me on an emotional level. I actually had to ask my Goddess to move us to a different spot in the dungeon because I was having entirely too many of my own emotional triggers activated by the nearby scene. (We moved to a different spot and had a great time.) Did they ask us before they started a very verbally abusive waterboarding scene? No, of course not, and I wouldn't expect them to do so! We signed an agreement coming into the event that we might see such things, they were apparently cleared with the DM, and they were well within the rules of the event.
"... being referred to by an incorrect term ... equivalent to physical violence." WTF? Seriously? It *might* be an insult if done deliberately. It might even be emotionally abusive if done repeatedly or in a certain manner, but to compare an accidental slip of the tongue to a physical assault is quite a stretch and one I'm simply not buying. I can only assume the person making this claim has never been the victim of assault nor been close to someone assaulted. Trust me a broken leg looks quite a bit different from a hurled invective, even a purposeful one. Of course on the question of consent, I don't see how that actually figures into the picture. As described it seems a bit of a null situation to me, but I may be simply missing part of the picture.