Maxine's Journal

This afternoon I came in to a conversation on facebook inspired by this article: 6 fascinating people who own almost nothing. The conversation wandered into how a lot of the folks who claim to be embracing minimalism and the 'no possessions' lifestyle (and who often seem quite smug and self-satisfied about it) do, in fact, rather carelessly rely on the use of other people's housing possessions to support their lifestyle... something that works in small numbers, of course, but isn't sustainable over a whole population, clearly. There was also plenty of discussion about the lessons these minimalist folk have to teach us. So naturally this conversation got me thinking back over how I have been living my life over the last few months.

I try to be very conscious of when I am and am not relying on other people's kindness. I have been very lucky since I started being nomadic and living out of my backpack, back in March. A lot of people have very kindly offered me their hospitality and even keys to their houses, so despite working out my initial numbers based on staying in hostels and short lets and things, I've been able to save a lot through the generosity of my friends and lovers - and spend it on taking them out for nice dinners instead, or in one particular case, supporting their indiegogo campaign! When I am staying with people I try to give back in practical ways too, such as washing dishes or making meals, making sure the fridge is stocked, doing minor repairs, offering to baby-sit, helping with the bills if bills need paying, that sort of thing. If at some point I forget that there's a give and take there, though, and start getting entitled about it or assuming anyone other than (possibly) the government owes me a place to stay, or pretending I've done it all by myself, do please shoot me!

On the other hand, I think there are ways in which the nomadic lifestyle could be much more sustainable for a lot of people, which perhaps would emerge naturally if enough folks were doing it: there are already plenty of hostels offering dorm spaces and similar for backpackers (even while I was relatively settled in zone 3, I did occasionally ponder moving nearer in to the centre of the city and only paying rent as and when I needed to, given that the daily rate for a hostel in central London was about equivalent to my rent+bills and also included breakfast- but of course there were at the time other intangibles such as stability, and choice over one's housemates to consider, plus storage for the 'stuff' that I was lugging around from house to house with me). I do wonder how the current offering would flourish, change and compete if that market was to grow significantly. Extending it even further, what would the world be like if we were all guaranteed stable housing as and when we needed it, for as long as we needed it, ('at-will accommodation', if you like) and nobody owned property at all?

Speaking of property, one thing that backpacking really does for you as an individual is that it will make you think very hard about every single thing you buy or choose to carry around with you. When every new item you acquire means than something else has to be thrown or given away, buying 'stuff' begins to take on a different light. As an inveterate 'pack-rat', that's been a real eye opener for me, and particularly for folks who tend to horde 'stuff', I'd recommend trying it, even just for a short while.

I hadn't really intended to be nomadic for quite as long as I now have been. My initial intention was to put most of my stuff in storage just for a little while, go travelling to see friends and family for maybe two or three months and then settle down again, but as all of the work I do is non-location-dependent and I am under no particular pressure to stay in one place, the charms of the 'footloose and fancy free' lifestyle have rather drawn me in. When I do pass through London I have found myself rather naturally reducing my possessions in storage by roughly one crate each time I visit, when I look at things and realise I haven't missed them even for a moment. And the less stuff I have in storage, the less inclined I am to settle down and be weighed down by it. It has been a fascinating process.

I do find that I am shocked more than ever, when I walk by shops selling ornaments and suchlike, by the sheer uselessness of so much of what's out there. Tea, however, turns out to be really important to me (nobody who's met me should be surprised by this, yet somehow I was!) and I now make sure I have a small supply in my backpack to be certain that I have it wherever I happen to be, and usually a travel mug tucked in my belt, as well. Books are important to me too, but I have finally given in and gone the kindle route, because there is only so much paper one person can carry.


There is definitely a sense of freedom in knowing that everything you need for your every day life will fit into a backpack or a suitcase. Knowing that one has the option to take off at any moment means one is never at the mercy of a bad landlord or bad relationship, you can do crazy things like leave the country on a moment's notice, because you know you have everything you need with you, or fly south for the winter, which certainly has a tinge of luxury (though living abroad is mostly cheaper than the UK, in fact). In my case, at this particular time, it has also meant that I could up sticks and move to Manchester to spend time looking after my terminally ill grandfather as his health has been deteriorating over the last few months, and stay for as long as I'm needed. It's hard to put a price on that sort of freedom.

It's not for everybody, though: I know that if I was even slightly less physically able than I am right now, I wouldn't be able to handle carrying both my backpack and the 'mobile studio' I built to take around with me in a suitcase. I am dreading the next time my knee gives out and I have to use crutches, as public transport will be a whole different experience. I could be faced with the stark choice of settling down in one place or giving up my art (or being dependent on other people to move my case for me, which... well, let's say it's a last resort!). There are all sorts of reasons one might need to be static, or have more equipment than a person can reasonably carry. And of course if the work I did was location-dependent, there might not be any point to my minimalism. I'm not trying to pretend that the life I live now is easy to arrange, or even possible for everybody.

There have been hard times too. Finding time and space to myself has not been entirely easy. There have been times when my choice has been between offending my hosts or sharing space, and occasionally even beds with people (and pets) I would not normally choose to. Getting ill and needing several days of hardcore rest whilst visiting in a house without a dedicated guest room was... tricky. And if one has kindly been invited in as a guest, turning down that invitation, or backing out of a stay that one had already committed to, and saying to someone "Actually, I'd prefer to go and stay in a B&B or a hotel for a bit so I can get some space to myself", can seem impolitic, and difficult (or expensive) to arrange at the last minute when something hasn't gone to plan.
Not knowing what city one is going to be in next month can get a little exhausting, too, where long range planning is concerned, but the hardest thing I have had to deal with yet has been accessing medical care whilst on the move; something I have found incredibly difficult even as a relatively well off British citizen in stable employment. The NHS as a whole is not at all set up for patients who migrate, even between just two addresses, let alone many. Walk-in and access centres are not well advertised, and often websites are out of date (we turned up at one that was advertised online to find it had closed more than a year ago), and the ones that still exist are often poorly signposted and in obscure places. I find myself struggling to use the exact same sort of facilities I would have to visit if I was sleeping rough on the street, and wondering how (or if) anyone who is homeless through circumstances not of their own choosing actually manages to see a doctor, other than through visits to A&E. As I am dependent on a regular supply of thyroxine tablets to actually keep me alive, and also having had a chest infection for most of the last month on top of this, that's been pretty stressful.

But still, I do feel incredibly privileged and lucky to be able to live and work the way that I currently do. I hope I come across as neither smug nor self satisfied, but I do think there are some very valid lessons to take away from all this stuff... or from the lack of stuff. :)

My life is a game.
(Subtitle: Why I Haven't Posted Regularly for the Last Few Months)

Good news: Polyday happened.

Bad news: I get sick immediately afterwards

Good news: If it was swine flu, it didn't kill me!

Bad news: I immediately get something else.

Good news: A holiday makes me feel better.

Bad news: Travelling sets me back to square one.

Good news: I finally get around to registering at a doctors surgery.

Bad news: It takes weeks to get a referral.

Good news:Having mastitis (and sleeping 12+ hours a day - twice my normal amount) for two months finally flags up that I have an underlying problem, so I can get it treated.

Bad news: Autoimmune thyroid disease means I'll be on medication for the rest of my natural life.

Good news: The treatment works (and I'm on the way to feeling better).

Bad news: When I finally get referred for an ultrasound exam (for the mastitis), I'm out of the country, so have to wait two weeks extra.

Good news: While I'm away, the mastitis finally clears up on its own.

Bad news: The day I get back I find a lump in my armpit.

Good news: I haven't cancelled the ultrasound appointment.


I guess I'm due some bad news next... Anyone fancy taking a guess?

(If I'm really lucky, the bad news is just that I have to get up early on Monday morning to get to the appointment. Cross fingers for me? )

Hoping my next good news is worth celebrating!

- Maxine.

Amazing party at the weekend - thanks to everyone who came to help us celebrate werenerd being a year older. Also apologies to anyone I gave my lurgy to - I think I warned you all before leaping into the cuddle puddle, but still, it's not being too fun at the moment lugging my tissues around everywhere!

Now flying to Italy at stupid o clock in the morning (see time stamp) to continue very small celebrations with close poly family. Sadly this means missing getting spanked by the lovely Midori, but it does mean recuperating in a volcanic spa. Win some, lose some, eh?

Back next week!

Love to you all!

M.

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I've been busy. Crazy busy. Sorting out Polyday and moving house, and everything all happening at once, and I'm not sure quite when I'll have a regular net connection again - we're due to be connected on wednesday, with a bit of luck!

Just a quick post to say yay for all of my boys - the joy of poly when it's working well really hit home today. I had that chat with A who was on a date over the weekend, and we made it up fine, and today he was driving the van for myself, Werenerd and Misterfallen. They've been the most fantastic team a girl could imagine moving house with, and despite my being a bit of a wuss (for which I forgive myself, as my last half dozen moves have been major horror stories) it's been the least stressful moving day I've ever experienced.

Went out with Misterfallen last night to see Waiting for Godot, and picked up a Moomins lollipop for my girl-sweetie, snork-maiden, too (if you can't tell by the name, she's a big fan!) I'm looking forward to presenting it to her, hopefully at our housewarming on Sunday. If I've forgotten to invite anyone please let me know - the plan is a barbecue at our new place in South London on Sunday afternoon.

Yay again for my boys! I love you all :) 

M.

On Tuesday evening last week, werenerd got back from a couple of weeks out of the country. Since I'd been useless with lurgy for most of that time, as well, our to-do list was looking a bit daunting.

Wednesday morning we ran all around south London looking at houses to share with our little gang of lovely people. Amazingly, we found a house.

Thursday we did the same for Polyday venues (the culmination of some excellent research - thanks, lovely venues minion!) - We also found a venue.

Friday we dealt with the paperwork - which included some Torchwood-esque uses of technology* and an insane last-minute dash across the entire width of London to retrieve my passport (of course in that 'safe place' that just happens to be the least convenient one possible) and to get a digital copy to the agents, whilst the boys dashed in the opposite direction to make sure the rest of the contracts got signed, and to the right place.

Friday evening we made it, breathless to Alex's house, where we hosted misterfallen's birthday party (which was lovely) - we even managed to find suitable cake!

Saturday morning I packed a week's worth of clothes, sent my rainbow bikini off to Pride attached to one of my other housemates-to-be (I figured if I couldn't go, at least my gayest item of clothing would) and then headed to the airport to fly to Ireland.

That's a hell of a lot to pack into just under four days - I didn't actually think it was all possible and was expecting to have to cancel my holiday.

I feel thanks are in order, in fact:
To Erich - thanks for being amazingly low stress under pressure.
To Lex for being a brilliant party host, and for being amazingly patient with our plans being up in the air til the last minute.
To Ben - just for being a cute birthday boy, and for wanting to live with us

Right now, I'm conveniently stranded at the edge of nowhere, in Ireland, with no phone signal and only a broadband connection to keep me entertained. Time to rest, recuperate, and polish up my world domination plans - after all, if that's what we can achieve in four days of working together, imagine what we can do in a year!


*Okay, maybe not quite so advanced, but the time pressure was the same! Honestly, I  wish a camera had been rolling to catch me executing an Indiana Jones grab to pick up a pen drive with the necessary software, before powering across town using my mobile as a walkie talkie...  I have never set up a scanner nor repaired a wireless network so fast in my life before, nor answered a mobile call with the words 'uploading now!'. I'm sure at least *someone* would have been proud of me.

I have spent May working two jobs, and suddenly counting two and two-half relationships, and building a happy family around that, and not actually spending any time in my own house. It gives one very little time to wurble online. I am back down to only one day job from this week though, so look ahead to more posts, more essays, and exciting news about events I'm suddenly organising.

A recent conversation with an old friend:

"Sorry, can't talk long, we're off out to see a film for C's birthday."

"Who's C?"

"Oh, she's my other partner's other partner's other partner*."

"Um... okay..."

* Actually, she's my other other partner's other partner, too, but they don't see each other very much.

Confused? Hehe, I'm not going to draw any diagrams.


I'll be back soon, with much wordage and exciting news.

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