Violation is intentionally going where you know you're not supposed to, where you have no right to be. A "monster" in this case is a bad person, in this case referring to someone who intentionally violates someone's personal space & safety. So that would be the "people who blithely trample all over other people's boundaries without giving a crap".
As I read your original post, it sounds like one would need prior consent to make physical contact with anyone else lest it be deemed assault. This could apply to affection between friends or even touching someone's arm or shoulder just to get their attention. A crowded room becomes the location of a massive brawl, with everyone assaulting everyone because it's impossible not to touch others in that situation.
Those are the sorts of situations in which I feel it's safe to assume implied consent, which makes the contact not assault. If I have, with consent, hugged, rubbed the head of, scratched the back of, smacked the ass of, et al., a friend before, I feel it's safe, in similar situations, to assume that I have consent to do those things again. If I need to get someone's attention, I assume I have consent to touch their arm or shoulder in order to get their attention.
I was not offended at your judgement call; I agree with it, I was more stating that we probably disagree about where the disconnect in "physical contact without consent=assault=violation=monster" equation is. I can see, in looking over my previous comment, that wasn't clear & I apologize for that. I would also agree that the only way to be 100% certain is to ask for consent every time. However, getting explicit consent before any change in physical contact with another person can range from silly, as with asking a friend you've hugged thousands of times for permission to hug them, to absurd, like asking permission to brush past everyone in a crowded room or to touch someone's arm or shoulder to get their attention as at that point you've already gotten their attention.
So, while asking for consent will ensure that you never assault anyone, it's safe to assume consent in some situations &, whether you are right or wrong in specific situations, it doesn't make you a monster.
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Date: 2012-10-18 04:48 pm (UTC)As I read your original post, it sounds like one would need prior consent to make physical contact with anyone else lest it be deemed assault. This could apply to affection between friends or even touching someone's arm or shoulder just to get their attention. A crowded room becomes the location of a massive brawl, with everyone assaulting everyone because it's impossible not to touch others in that situation.
Those are the sorts of situations in which I feel it's safe to assume implied consent, which makes the contact not assault. If I have, with consent, hugged, rubbed the head of, scratched the back of, smacked the ass of, et al., a friend before, I feel it's safe, in similar situations, to assume that I have consent to do those things again. If I need to get someone's attention, I assume I have consent to touch their arm or shoulder in order to get their attention.
I was not offended at your judgement call; I agree with it, I was more stating that we probably disagree about where the disconnect in "physical contact without consent=assault=violation=monster" equation is. I can see, in looking over my previous comment, that wasn't clear & I apologize for that. I would also agree that the only way to be 100% certain is to ask for consent every time. However, getting explicit consent before any change in physical contact with another person can range from silly, as with asking a friend you've hugged thousands of times for permission to hug them, to absurd, like asking permission to brush past everyone in a crowded room or to touch someone's arm or shoulder to get their attention as at that point you've already gotten their attention.
So, while asking for consent will ensure that you never assault anyone, it's safe to assume consent in some situations &, whether you are right or wrong in specific situations, it doesn't make you a monster.