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emanixI've seen it in all sorts of places, the assumption that bisexuality has to mean that a person is equally attracted to both sexes, not notice the difference between, and so forth... Marcus Morgan has a lovely rebuttal to that one in this article: Bisexuals: putting the B back in LGBT and I also love The Bisexual Index's FAQ: Bisexuals don't have to be equally attracted to men and women.
This isn't the logic fail I'm going to address today though.
The logic fail that bugs me, and keeps on bugging me is this: the idea that if I am exactly equally attracted to both sexes, I will have had exactly the same numbers of male and female partners. Why does it bug me so? It fails to take into account the huge % of population that *aren't* bisexual.
So let's get this erm... 'straight':
even if I am EXACTLY equally attracted to men and women, I have NINE TIMES more chance of finding a compatible opposite-sex partner than a same-sex one*
Let's go through the workings:
I'm not going to hunt down stats and references right now, since the important bit here is the logic, which is flexible to whatever the exact statistics are, but of the research I have seen, the *highest* statistic for members of the general population who are interested in relationships with the same sex is roughly 10%
So working with that maximum statistic let's follow this through to work out my chances of getting a girlfriend, versus the chance of getting a boyfriend as a bisexual woman.
Now, we've been told that 10% of the male population is open to same-sex relationships. With a bit of give and take for bisexual guys, and for those not interested in relationships at all, we can assume that roughly 90% of the male population is interested in relationships with women. So my dating pool of guys is potentially 90% of the entire population of males.
On the other hand, the proportion of females interested in same sex relationships is only 10%, so oh look! -
% of males potentially interested in me: 90%
% of females potentially interested in me: 10%
Assuming roughly equal populations of men and women, and that roughly the same number of men and women share compatible views and interests with me, this means my dating pool for men is nine times larger than my dating pool of women.
So if I really want to date the same number of women as men, looks like I'd have to put nine times the effort into chasing them down - oh wait, wouldn't that necessitate being nine times *more* into women, if I was really willing to put that effort in? Well gee, I think that it would.
(Of course the same logic works perfectly well for bi guys, it was just easier to focus on one person to use as an example, so I picked on me)
This also handily refutes the all too common hypothesis that being bi 'doubles' ones chances of getting a date. Sure, it might increase a little bit - my pool of possible dates goes from 45% of the population overall to oh, about 50% - assuming that nobody is being bigoted or biphobic, of course. But since I have had both straight men and gay women tell me that they wouldn't date me because I'm bi, I suspect that any actual increase in number is cancelled out by the increase in prejudice.
Still, on the positive side of things, while being bi doesn't double my chances of getting a date, it *does* double the number of people I get to appreciate aesthetically - gay guys and straight women included. Since enjoying the eye-candy doesn't require mutual attraction, I guess I can check out twice as many people on the street, as long as it's look but don't touch.
Hey, you monosexuals?
Here's lookin' at you! ;)
___
*yes, yes, I know, this is referring to binary genders in order to keep the statistical workings simple - for the purpose of being inclusive, please assume that when I am talking about same-sex and opposite-sex I mean 'exactly like me' and 'not exactly like me', respectively
This isn't the logic fail I'm going to address today though.
The logic fail that bugs me, and keeps on bugging me is this: the idea that if I am exactly equally attracted to both sexes, I will have had exactly the same numbers of male and female partners. Why does it bug me so? It fails to take into account the huge % of population that *aren't* bisexual.
So let's get this erm... 'straight':
even if I am EXACTLY equally attracted to men and women, I have NINE TIMES more chance of finding a compatible opposite-sex partner than a same-sex one*
Let's go through the workings:
I'm not going to hunt down stats and references right now, since the important bit here is the logic, which is flexible to whatever the exact statistics are, but of the research I have seen, the *highest* statistic for members of the general population who are interested in relationships with the same sex is roughly 10%
So working with that maximum statistic let's follow this through to work out my chances of getting a girlfriend, versus the chance of getting a boyfriend as a bisexual woman.
Now, we've been told that 10% of the male population is open to same-sex relationships. With a bit of give and take for bisexual guys, and for those not interested in relationships at all, we can assume that roughly 90% of the male population is interested in relationships with women. So my dating pool of guys is potentially 90% of the entire population of males.
On the other hand, the proportion of females interested in same sex relationships is only 10%, so oh look! -
% of males potentially interested in me: 90%
% of females potentially interested in me: 10%
Assuming roughly equal populations of men and women, and that roughly the same number of men and women share compatible views and interests with me, this means my dating pool for men is nine times larger than my dating pool of women.
So if I really want to date the same number of women as men, looks like I'd have to put nine times the effort into chasing them down - oh wait, wouldn't that necessitate being nine times *more* into women, if I was really willing to put that effort in? Well gee, I think that it would.
(Of course the same logic works perfectly well for bi guys, it was just easier to focus on one person to use as an example, so I picked on me)
This also handily refutes the all too common hypothesis that being bi 'doubles' ones chances of getting a date. Sure, it might increase a little bit - my pool of possible dates goes from 45% of the population overall to oh, about 50% - assuming that nobody is being bigoted or biphobic, of course. But since I have had both straight men and gay women tell me that they wouldn't date me because I'm bi, I suspect that any actual increase in number is cancelled out by the increase in prejudice.
Still, on the positive side of things, while being bi doesn't double my chances of getting a date, it *does* double the number of people I get to appreciate aesthetically - gay guys and straight women included. Since enjoying the eye-candy doesn't require mutual attraction, I guess I can check out twice as many people on the street, as long as it's look but don't touch.
Hey, you monosexuals?
Here's lookin' at you! ;)
___
*yes, yes, I know, this is referring to binary genders in order to keep the statistical workings simple - for the purpose of being inclusive, please assume that when I am talking about same-sex and opposite-sex I mean 'exactly like me' and 'not exactly like me', respectively
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no subject
Date: 2010-07-16 01:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-16 01:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-16 02:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-16 02:34 pm (UTC)(IKEA used to, but they just discontinued it - very sad!)
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Date: 2010-07-16 02:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-16 04:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-19 06:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-16 04:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-16 05:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-17 03:50 am (UTC)A few unsupported hypotheses
Date: 2010-07-16 05:55 pm (UTC)Maybe the threesome has something of the "forbidden fruit" allure of cheating, only there's, in theory, no possibility of getting in trouble for it. Or it might be the realisation of one's desire for someone not your significant other but without, in theory, damaging your relationship with your significant other.
I had thought that adding another person makes it more difficult to keep track of what's going on, more stimulation and thereby a, possibly greater, loss of self-control. However, this wouldn't be limited to straight relationships.
no subject
Date: 2010-07-17 03:14 pm (UTC)Anyway, I really can't offer any insights into straight relationships except from observation and even then most of the straight people to which I get really close aren't exactly stereotypical. (I'm including monogamous people in this.)